Emmett's Diary
by xxRuthRoseMaryxx
Summary: Emmett buys Edward and Bella a present for there wedding but it goes wrong.


Emmett's diary

A Margie Red Heart

Dear diary,

I heard Bella and Edward were getting married so I got them a present, but I hadn't seen it before I bought it I just saw a big box. I picked the box up went to the cashier and, well I'll just tell you while I have my flash back.

I saw a beautiful box as huge as a Small elephant. I picked it up and brought it to the cashier, "I'd like to buy this sir." I said in a serious voice. "Are you sure sir I mean it's a lovely box but-." When I heard him say that I cut him off. "Excuse me are you questioning me because you want them all for your self. I bet, uh?" I screamed in a low voice. "No I just, well whatever let's forget about it so, that will be one thousand dollars please." He said in a coward's voice. So I paid him picked up the box and I went to my little condo. I wrapped up the box in purple, black and red wrapping paper. As I was wrapping it, I heard my favorite song on the radio called 'Our Song' by 'Taylor Swift'; I started to sing along to it. "When were on the phone and you talk real slow, cause it's late and his mamma don't know." I sang over and over again.

The next day I went to Edward's condo to feed candy man, Edward and Bella's cat. So I poured his food in the bowl, got him a heated a bowl of milk picked him up and… "Oh My God, cat, get off of me. STOP ATTACKING. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed in horror when the cat attacked me. He just jumped me when I tried to pick him up. When he was a baby I taught him how to fart in some one's face if they're attacking him, so he farted in my face, and oh boy did it ever stink. "Candy man! Get off of me! You stink! I should have never taught you that trick! It's stinks! .Loud! I made a funny!" I said in a serious voice. I called Rosalie to come over and help me baby-sit 'The devil Kitten' and so she came.

"Emmy, I'm here!" She yelled when she walked in. "Hi baby, I missed you. Come sit." I said all sweet like. "Emmy, I missed you to." She said while she walked over and sat down. "Urgh. You know what makes me upset, strings." Rose said while she pulled a string from her shirt. "Let's talk about something else." She said in a funny voice.

"Oh speaking of strings, I knew I was going to see you so I brought your thong from my house when you left it there on Wednesday." I said. "Emmett, I was shopping with Alice on Wednesday." She said in a confused voice. "Oh yeah, I snuck in your window when you were at the mall Wednesday and took a pair to remember you forever, but I think that's a tiny bit weird." I said in a calm voice.

"You think? And by the way did you get Edward and Bella a wedding present for Sunday?" Rosalie said. "Yes, but the guy at the store thought I was demented for buying this box, but he must want it for him self, but I took it anyways." I said. "Okay good-, wait, never mind cause if you answered the question how I think you will-." She said in a serious voice. "Calm down honey- O.M.G Dance, dance underpants is on. Wow I almost missed it." I screamed.

"Emmett you just screamed in my ear!" Rosalie yelled. "Yeah, Yeah whatever. Dance, dance underpants if you mess up I will kick your ass." I sang when the theme song came on. "Bye Emmett see you on Sunday." Rose said as she walked out the door. "Yeah whatever bye." I said annoyed.

On Saturday, I woke up I went to the pharmacist to get my over hyper calm down medication. Then I went to the suit shop, I bought a tux and I went to pick up my Wrangler from the shop. I went to visit Bella and Edward. "Hey guys, I'm here." I said as I walked in the door. "Oh Emmett you came, I thought you wouldn't, could you take care oh Renesme? Edward and I are going to your old house and that's where-." "Bella," Edward said as he cut Bella off. "We have to go now, is Emmett here?" He asked. "Yes Eddie, he's right here." "Oh and Emmett Rose is coming over so you don't kill her by accident." She said seriously.

Edward and Bella left when Rosalie walked in. "Hi" She said in a moody voice. "Hey, so I'm sorry about yesterday I just was having a bad day, T.V always calms me down. And I haven't seen your beautiful face in so long." I said in a sweet voice. "Thanks, I just forgot you're like that sometimes, Emmett." She said "Yeah?" I answered. "Kiss me please." She asked. "Sure." I said in a sexy voice. Then right when we were about to kiss Renesme started to cry, I don't blame her the colors of her room are so when I was born.

What's wrong little girl?" Rosalie asked. "Rose a baby can't answer she gives signs. Watch and learn. Milk?" I asked then Renesme shook her head yes. So Rose brought up a warm bottle of milk, so I fed it to Renesme. "Waaaaaaaah" The baby said. She started to cry after two seconds of me holding her. "What's wrong?" I asked in shock. "She must not like you give her to me." Rose demanded. So gave the baby to her and she stopped crying. "That's no fair!" I screamed.

When it was Renesme's nap time Edward and Bella came home. They walked in the door while me and Rose was kissing. "Ahh" I screamed. "Your child wants you. Can we leave?" I asked, "Thanks for telling us that she needs us, and no we have great news." Bella Started. "Emmett will be my best man." Said Edward. "And Alice will be my maids of honor. And Rose will be my Brides made." Bella said in excitement. "Yay, will I get to dress up like a monkey?" I asked excitedly. "No you will wear this suit and so will Jasper." Edward said in a serious voice. "So you want me and Jasper to be in the same suit at once? Sure but I don't know how we will fit in there." I said. "NO! You guys will be wearing individual suit's but there the same kind." Edward said in a tense voice. "Oh, my bad." I said in an embarrassed voice. "And Alice and Rose will be doing the same thing but with this dress and these shoes." Bella said. "Ahh, Edward there outfits are so much prettier can I wear that instead?" I asked. "No." He said in a tense voice. "So we will see you guys tomorrow. You can leave now. Bye." Bella said. Then Rose and me said bye and left.

So on Sunday, I put on my tux and went to pick up Rosalie. When I got there her car was gone. She must have picked up some flowers.

So when I got to the wedding place I saw her there with flowers like always. I saw: Rose, Jasper, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Charlie, René, Me of course, and of course Bella and Edward are here it's there wedding and JACOB? Why was he here, well he is Bella's best friend but I took that place when- oh I never did take the place but who cares, HE SHOULD NOT BE HERE!

I put my gift on the table that said 'GIFTS FOR GUYS'. I couldn't wait to see their face, better yet what's in the box.

"Ladies and Gentle men please take a seat, will the maid of honor and the brides made and the best men please go stand here please." A man said. So all of us Alice, Rosalie and Me walked up to the stage. We all said some stuff about them then the wedding started.

After A few hours of the reception, dancing, food (There were raw animal pieces for the vampires.) funny Bella was eating the animal pieces- oh wait she's a vampire. Cool.

Now it's present time, they opened Rose's it was a T.V, Jasper's was a Toaster, Alice's was clothes (No Duh), Carlisle and Esme's was a Coffee maker, Charlie and Rene's was a Baby tree, Jacob's was a Note that only Bella read, and she was crying cause she said it was sweet. And when they opened mine I felt like running to China, because I can do that. It was a lifetime supply of thongs and stilettos. Edward had a weird look on his face and Bella was shocked.

So that's my story, now I know to read the box and see what it says, every body else's faces were shocked. So that's my story, Bella ended up using them and I had to get Edward a present it was an antique china plate that you could put meat in. He ended up using it.

The end of my wedding tale.

Love,

Emmett McCarty Cullen3


End file.
